gender roles

dan and i have known each other since 6th grade when we first attended friends academy.  we were on the same bus together.  until the bus didnt want to pick us up at our house so we had to all be dropped off at the local high school.  we both played sports so we carpooled during football, basketball/wrestling, lacrosse/baseball seasons.  and when dan could drive...he drove me to school.  our families have known each other since then and my knowledge of his mom and dad, carol and bruno is much different than i would have imagined.  carol, as i remembered was thin, uptight, didnt' say much and a bit stern.  she drove us to school, spoke very curt while bruno ran the biggest smile across the room with kind words for the children.  he spoke only praise but u knew he was the man of the house.  tall and intimidating with white hair and a huge smile.  that's how i remembered that dynamic.

dan was always a smartass with words but that's how their family worked.  they communicated openly with a riot of sarcasm and an openness where words were just words and hugs and kisses were quickly returned to the room after any sort of bickering.  since bruno's passing, carol spends her winters in naples florida where she bought a condo, drinks and plays all day with friends before coming up to spend april through august in the hamptons alone during the week, but with a houseful of family and guests on the weekends.  its' quite a setup.

she never used to drink. now she has the strongest tolerance of us all.  she never used to talk.  now she talks us all under the table.  she relives her marriage with bruno.  speaks of all the things we never knew about.  never ceasing to display an affection of love towards her husband.  his love for daniel.  his traditional mindset on how families are run.  he took on her children.  invited her ex husband to the dinner table.  he never let the wife drink.  he believed in positive reinforcement.  the father and son relationship was so close..."thats' why dan got married so early...i was jealous of the relationship they had" - carol.

carol and bruno had dan at 43.  they're older.  more traditional.  and when you talk to her about me and women these days, its refreshing to hear a traditionalist talk against feminism.  "men and women are different.  women are now asking to be equals to men when they are different. "  she goes onto be a bit more traditionally chauvinistic, but its refreshing to see someone outspoken about the basic differences of gender roles.

"i hope to die when the dog dies so dan will be crying and people will think he's crying about his mom as well as the dog" - carol dicapite

peyote is such a good girl.  reminds me of didi.  15 years old and so obedient and attached to the owner.  happy when she can be and chill and relaxed most of the time.  doesn't ever bark.  and try's not to eat dog food cuz she's waiting for the bacon coming from the dinner table.  hopping around on the beach but too hurt to climb up the stairs so she takes the elevator.

while peyote limped around the house, dunn and i hung around drinking the entire two days we were there.  he was an impressive beer drinking. so i followed.  only to follow up and have drinks in the morning as well.  again impressed.  i waited for him to drink his 3rd drink before pouring myself one.  then dan got into the act with pina coladas...all good. all tasty.  all absolutely drunk.

i drink a lot compared to my asian friends.  but with the white guys....i just can't seem to hold my own.  always messed up.  always hungover. always unbearable.  always in some kind of pain.  and i've gone backwards in this post.  but saturday night posed to be a doozy.  left my car at the bar because of the 6 beers i must've had playing beer pong before the bar.  then a few vodka soda's and a fireball.  and whatever else that came flying off the bar.   did i mention i ran into angela?