i couldn't finish on the road.  i guess i couldn't really get into reading about the wild west.  hopping on rail cars etc.  but...am i living his life?

"Kerouac's death, at the age of 47, resulted from an internal hemorrhage (bleeding esophageal varices) caused by cirrhosis, the result of a lifetime of heavy drinking."

and so rather than flying from san antonio to houston, we decided to rent a car for the sole purpose of finding an armadillo to take a picture. post it on fb. and tag kirsty.  sounded like a great idea for a roadtrip until i realized how tired i was wednesday morning.  and that the drive was actually a boring straight flat line on i-10 to houston.  that's middle america.  vast open land with cows and greens. we went from ncaa tourney city to another.  flooded with body painted fanatics and cbs took up the omni in houston.  we went to mia luna on wednesday night and heard stories about a vegas trip that involved fulfilling a couples fantasy of having someone "watch".  that of course was immediately followed by your typical girl talk conversation on the right man.  how to please a man.  yada yada. i took a few trips to the bathroom cuz it made me uneasy.  and it just so happened that the girls gone wild bus was outside.  while on that subject wednesday, thursday's client dinner over margarita's and fajitas yielded justification of a boob job and it's effect on the work place.  "i just want it for myself".  "i know ppl in the office, and they are now forever type casted as the boob job girl".  i went to hudson and someplace on washington after to compete with cindy on "who had the shittier week".

so glad to be back in nyc.

 

5:36 AM

“there's a place for you in this market.  buy low sell hi.  u provide liquidity"

on sunday.  i took more than a quarter M loss.  i haven't been able to sleep for a month because of this and something else.  and when i finally took the hit.  i found myself walking around with my head down.  i would walk past people unknowingly cuz my head was down.  welcome to the trade and hope technique.  the pray and trade.  the trade and pray. 

san antonio is known for 3 things.  margaritas. steaks. and the alamo. as of today.  i can't look @ another piece of steak.  i dont like mexican food to begin with.  and margaritas are wayy to sweet.

"french people eat their meat bloody" - sk

"we start our signature guacamole with an orange" - boudros

"you would love my cousin.  everyone calls him tom cruise lebanon"

"if i moved to houston, would you come visit me?  of course you would.  you collect friends"

"debillated by shame."

this year we only ate @ mortons 1x.  BEST CIGAR IVE EVER HAD

coyote ugly w the rug.

2:53 PM

some people look at me and think that my advice may come off too aggressively spontaneous. whimsical.  too flexible.  i can see how my lifestyle may seem intimidating to some, however, if i give aggressive advice after being friends with someone over a period of time, it's because i've assessed that the previous 4 years of soft advice and relative self improvement is not enough and time just wastes away before one needs to really up the ante on change and solving an issue.  net result is that whatever it is that you're doing is not enough.  you can say you're getting better, but in reality, the more time that elapses for you to get to that point is your own time wasted. 

flexibility is relative.

 

of course khym had to come with this gross bottle....

7:07 AM

its so blatant that im becoming more asian.  i've spent hours joking about my preference for asian girls.  but has my tastebuds gone for a turn in the asian direction as well?  was this bound to happen?  was i bound to become like my parents?  or was i bound to just become asian? or am i just embracing it?  im starting to like cheese less and less.  (sorella had a terrible cheese that has totally put me off).  and i dont like burgers anymore.  i'll almost never order it at a restaurant and i'll almost never eat mcdonalds.  it doesn't tastes as good as i remember it as a child.  but for lunch we ordered zaitzeff.  i had a kobe burger. which just tasted like a normal ground beef.  it was also terribly overcooked.  i don't know why i got cheese an bacon because it would just drown out the beef flavor, but in this overcooked patty it didnt even help for the lack of flavor in the meat.  gross.  that was lunch.

KINSHOP

469 Sixth Ave., New York, NY 10011 40.735541 -73.998183

kinshop was awesome!  i never liked thai food until i went to thailand that's cuz there are soo many crappy thai places in nyc.  meager imitations to the original with bland flavors and adapted american ingredients (white meat chicken).  gravy's are soupy and soups are greasy.  basil stir fry resembles chinese take out and curry's have that weird sour aftertaste.  even the rice sometimes has issues.  but not harold dieterle's thai american shop.  authentic thai flavors made by an american palate.  im no expert on authentic thai cuisine, but it tasted damn good and looked awesome.  well priced, good for groups, and as tasty as the food was, the asian in me went for extra chili on the side and no one berated me for destroying the flavor. 

fried pork and crispy oyster salad

squid ink and hot sesame oil soup

selection of grilled eggplant

warm sliced snap peas with diver sea scallops

**

massaman braised goat

crispy whole porgie

steamed red snapper

stir fried rice flakes

crispy roti

jasmine rice

**

thai iced tea ice cream

pineapple tamarind sorbet

thai coffee-chocolate ice cream

**

 

KINGSWOOD - drinks afterwards.  great date place.

 

**

 

line of the night -

eric: i don't care about a 6 pack

sung: WHHHHHYYYYYY!@!@!@?!@?!@?!@

eric: it was over before it began

me: sung likes someone that makes her laugh

eric: 6 pack makes everything 5x funnier

 

 

 

 

6:00 AM

seriously, what's the point of working out when not eating dinner is so much easier.  but realistically, how many days can you do that?  before you feel light headed and all you want for lunch is yukhwejang.  and then for dinner all you want is odaengtang?  and then while you're at dinner 4 of your friends show up that u saw 2 days ago completely obliterated and then proceed to order more sake.  and then i get a call and realize im losing 100k.  so i drink more myself.  and just cuz dan wants to crash, i obvioulsy can't go home when i want to.  " i want to sing.  i need to practice"  and so that's how that went. 

what was interesting is that dan and i are completely opposites.  in this i mean, we fundamentally want the same thing, but when you talk to each of us, the manner in which we go about advice, conversation etc is completely opposite.  i'll speak of people and give a floating values to variables such as human emotion and realize these are necessary steps to maybe stabillize future decisions.  where as dan will use a lot of conditionals, shoulds and coulds, because he believes that the floating variables in life are 'wrong' and that u can curb these temptations and push through to do what is 'right'.  i could use some firmer moral fiber, and maybe he could use some more moral flex.

on top of needing firmer moral fiber.  i think i need to be firmer in who i am as a person.  what i stand for rather than being that happy go lucky passive aggressive person that gives others too much credit and wait for others to act accordingly.   continued moments of self reflection has also made me realize the need to just say how i feel and what i want.  i don't want pity from people.  most of my decisions have its consequences priced in.  as bad as the situation that may fall upon me, the onus is on myself.  there's nothing to talk to anyone about, there's nothing to fundamentally say.  but if you know me, and know how i feel, i actually do have feelings too.  things bother me.

5:42 AM