June 2007 | 멍멍!

if u were thinking of coming back to asia, DON'T. todays humidity was pretty darn close to unbearable. it started off as what would be a nice day with clear skies, but somewhere on the way to the apartment, the morning heat wave stormed the city causing the flurry of sweat drops to make my tshirt rival the on-site construction workers' wifebeaters...g-l-a-m-o-r-ous...the heat wasn't that bad yet, cuz somewhere btwn the 2 min walk to the real estate agents office across the street, torrential downpour greeted us....which hampered our plans onto the next destination....and when it all cleared, the thickest blanket of humidity cloaked the entire city as if this were gods natural gas chamber.....and mosquito bites were holocaust tattoos.....yes, it was that bad.

this picture is hilarious. this lady and her japanese client were sitting next to us last weekend. the lady was trying to pimp out the waitress who was a previous model....and her daughter, who is in college.....all while forcing ichiko and whiskey down our throats.....her client, just winked and drank....

it's wed night. in about 2 hours, i'll be hammered. get ur cell phones ready.......

5:20 AM

i need to learn how to force myself to sleep....rather than forcing myself to stay away the next day.

chicken balls in sesame oil......yep, black chicken with black balls (wu gu ji)

solid - ee bah meh keul jah go
musiq soulchild - lullaby
corrine bailey rae - wait a minute
mika - grace kelly
beatles - across the universe
bright eyes - lover i dont have to love
teriyaki boyz - celebrity death match

chicken balls

9:50 AM

Chomo
11:54

yea we were saying

54:33
or i was saying

54:40
if u were a normal person

54:44
and decided to live a normal life

54:46
w a normal job

54:48
ud be there w us

54:49
in texas

54:55
but no u gotta be all diff and move out to taiwan

and do crazy shit out there

7:58 AM

tony and jason. tony - after 2 years of training in japan, an iron liver, and
melodic vocal chords to match, he now owns "gigola" (same name in chinese haha) an he luu and le li luu, the food was
authentic, light, tasty, and perfect with whiskey, sake and beer.
jason had to work on a shoot @ 4am so we made him drink till 3am. we're
good friends i swear.

gary's cd was playing in the background all night...and with all the contestants on "taiwanese idol" singing his songs lately, it made tony and jason do their live rendition...because "actually they've entered competitions before...ever heard of chemistry?"

calamari with cod roe (this was unreal)

it's like chinese style jelly fish..but it's actually pigskin.

fried pork cartilage, much better than chicken cartilage..."zhu ran gu"....which led me to start singing "ni de xin tai ran"....and that somehow led to "luu bian yi ke, rong shu xia"

7:10 AM

we trekked all the way to nan men market near chiang kai shek memorial for non-indigenous style zhong zi...and friggin waited on line for quite a bit......crazy ch*nks.

the story is.....qu yuan committed suicide by drowning into the river. the people threw food into the river so the fish would eat the food and not him. reminds me of my bbq's....the boys hop in the pool and i throw ribs and double stacked burgers at them....kind of similar to revolutionaries i guess...HAHAHA

zhongzi

9:54 PM

jeezus joy looks so much like jolin. i kept thinking that watching the award show last night.

robin thicke - i need to love
the shins - australia
coltrane/ellington - in a sentimental mood

blame it on will......

9:10 PM

there's a certain sequence of events that i've taken in the past that in hindsight completely befuddles me as to the kind of person that i had become...and it's so hard to accept the cliche of using it as a learning experience...

i was at cashbox last night and someone was singing a slue of elva songs...and i stared at elva's music video for a bit and thought to myself....alice/alexia??? they totally look alike.

oh yea. i've slept nothing. nowhere to sleep. apt is having a "wall" debate. im exhausted. it's humid. so i ate.

oh right, another reason im angry at myself.....the boys are in houston this weekend...i love tejas....and I'm MISSING OUT?!@#?!@?!#...I HATE MISSING OUT.....!@##$(@#(@#(@#*$*()!@)#(!@*>.....

8:24 AM

part of what i do as the self titled big business man without the business is entrepreneurially walk the streets of whereever im at and look at stuff, look at angles, look at infrastructure/urban planning, look at economic development, look at population count, look at media trends, look at food fads, look at local fashion...and not in the way that someone who worked in the field would, but as the purely curious and internet aided self study that might consume me for that time being. so i'm moving into the new apt within the next few days, and the location of the building is a speculative investment with the subway being built right in front of the building...the area lies 10 minute walk away from warner village and has the area has the potential to become a new elite epicenter of residential taipei (and if it doesn't, then the country might as well just go to sh*t). so schools, afterschool centers, 7-11's, food vendors, the developers across the street have been on my to do list alongside AC, washer dryer, furniture shopping.

a new area definitely takes a bit of getting used to. especially since im leaving the fully convenient sogo area. but there's no need to alienate my old stomping grounds....and since i've been away for 6 months, i did some walking the past 3 nights to get reacquainted with the small changes that have taken place...and came across this!

half tendon, half beef noodle soup. it took me 3 years....maybe i wasn't looking that hard because lettuce took precedence for a while, but i found the best beef noodle soup so far. 210NT a bowl. lin dong fang, ba de luu and an dong jie. they had this chilli paste that i've never seen before, it looked like grainy wax....hair product....or smooth watered sand....in anycase...u throw that in...and it makes the soup even more delicious. the beef was tender and the fibers had broken down from the all day slow cooking. the tendon was cooked just enough, with the perfect amount of elasticity. i thought the noodles were pretty good too, thick and nicely doughy although that part i'd say is up to personal preference.

had to get some tofu and soymilk on the way home too...

lauryn hill - things they say
mario vasquez - everything i
good charlotte - the river feat m shadows and synyster gates

does anyone know if there's a mac version for FOXY?

beefnoodlesoup

11:07 AM

if im not falling in love with other people's puppies....the it's korean actresses. the one on the left.

the lars is leaving tonight. and leaving means "send offs". even if i had just thrown up 2 hours prior to meeting up from the night before. it's been a more developed friendship with larry the past month even if he thinks berating me with punches so hard it makes me convulse all night is fun. a few nights ago, we met up "under the bridge" and with all the recent cyclical changes in our lives, caught up and reminisced...."can you believe 5 sandwiches was 2 years ago?" (i was distraught over a female pursuit at the time, partied, got hammered, and inhaled 5 sandwiches from 7-11 which larry caught on camera). funny how these anecdotes are markers of time. things for the both of us are gravitating back to the point of origin, 2 years of rebellious fury, hopping from one haywire concept to another, only to come back full circle. i'd like to think of it as tuition.

so of course with pain on my side and a late arrival at 'kong jian', i arrive at the perfect moment when the crowd of 4 sucked down absinthe, 'green fairy'. so the night began. and willie came out. which had me somewhat in a "put my head down" state. am i that cold hearted for not being able to be friends with an ex? im not avoiding friendship, im just needing time for history undertones to subside. is that so bad? (me n the lars disagree on this one)...that's not the part that's so off key, it's the 3rd party triangular friendships that have developed that im worried to push closeness in that direction. of course alcohol always helps.

flaming lips - she dont use jelly
the bravery - unconditional
the doors - five to one (jayz samples this one? someone give me the song name)
david bowie & queen - under pressure

10:45 PM

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.....omg, not the actual boyband wonder, but the look alike that FLLOOOOORRREEED me when someone mentioned the similarities. apparently she gets stopped on the street because of this. meet museee....a complete riot and potty mouth.

the pictures might not do it justice, so if u're the 45 percent readership from taiwan, come out tomorrow night.
u'll see it....holla holla! and larrys bluetooth is back!

1:17 PM

i love that stare across the bar. that's fun. but why is my left knee all bruised up?

4:02 AM

old people are always complaining about being technologically handicapped...at least all the old people around me, all the elder chinese people around me....the taiwanese around me...they seem to spend countless hours over dinner self pitying their generational handicapp due to their refusal to accept an ironically quick learning curve into a technological transition. it's befuddling why they spend more time contemplating technological futility rather than embracing a harmlessly quick adjustment and assimilation. adapting to basic technologically advanced life and complementing invaluable experience of doing things manually is what todays management needs in order to lead tech-addicted youth.

being a coastal city boy on top of "hating to drive" (that's whole other story), i never really understood the hype about satellite radio. but then again, what do i know. barring the fact that SIRI made me a nice chunk of change in 03', satellite radio has made a huge impact in broadcasting. i've never even stopped to think about tapping into its potential, due to environmental circumstance. however, with my love for internet, internet radio, specifically podcasts, this whole interest based closed network is really quite awesome. i always listen to music when on the comp and now i've found listening to interest-based-commercial-free news podcasts (albeit satirical) over morning email and coffee to be my adaptation on adult life (as minimal as it may be). bandwidth still hasn't caught up to the overlaying of fiber optics in the 90s but equilibrium seems close. streaming media has found a way to curb its epilepsy opening up the floodgates to a complete online takeover. todays niche tastes gather online and youtube.com it, myspace.com it, blog it and forum it and im lookin for a way to create my own epicenter. have you guys seen justin.tv??

they call me girl crazy. perfect time to be actually, cuz im attending a ridiculous amount of weddings the past few years. u know what they say about weddings...*nudge nudge*.....well whatever they say, it's all lies! regardless, i'll be in my 3rd wedding party in just as many years. no, i'm not everyones best friend, though if xanga had weddings, i just might be in 5fold more wedding parties. truth is, i have a decent amount of cousins.

fortunately, with bali around the corner, and my physique subpar to be flaunting braun to asian women who have no interest in braun, no brain for that matter....it seems i'll have to rely on that big mouth to be wooing the race that cares soo deeply about wads of cash and social status. both of which i have none, good thing i skimmed parts of "the game"....hahaha...

asia has completely shredded any bit of moral fiber i once had, and even theoretical ideals of monogamy which a purebred ABC usually holds closer than the lax rules accepted out here, have almost fully gone to shiiite. not only am i a member, i'm the president! hahaha..ok. just kidding, but im definitely a lot more accepting of the subculture. without key friends, and more specifically female comrades acting as pillars of support, i seriously think i'd hit the final frontier of my morality sooner rather than the latter...

playlist

gym class heroes- faces in the hall
oasis - the importance of being idle
libertines - campaign of hate
rihanna - umbrella
good charlotte - misery
30 seconds to mars - the kill
linkin park - leave out all the rest
jet - put yer money where yer mouth is
damien rice - elephant
cat empire
cold war kids - we used to vacation
feist - one evening
bloc party - song for clay
fall out boy - this ain't a scene it's an arms race
gorillaz - rock the house, dARe
joss stone
modest mouse - polar opposites
snow patrol - ways and means
maroon 5 - goodnight goodnight

oh yea....and TRACK 4. JUST FOR LARRY.

3:39 AM

there is a big bunch of people that sarcastically joke about me
returning to the work force as selling out. and so when dora was asked through the
grapevine "what's alex doing"...she replied "oh just being that global
socialite...."

here's the most intuitive response to that....

"he should come out with a sextape...and if i don't see it in shanghai,
then he's not working hard enough"

todays sextape update.....

dora:    "you can't just have sex with anyone, you need to find someone famous as well...kardashian has ray-j....pam has tommy lee....and hilton has rick solomon."

me:    "and who do i have ...WILL? is that good enough? dUHH"

dora: "HAAAA....no that's why you need to hang out with my cousin (LV events planner - missed out on some model birthday party saturday), so she can introduce
you to famous people....and then you can turn your lifestyle into your
career....hence the me-treprenuer." (read the article, about people turning a lifestyle into a career, aka grups, inverse growups)

me:   "that's right. im the big business without the business"

dora:    "that's why you gotta do it! then you'll get royalties off the sex tape, and that will fund whatever you want....that's unless starbucks doesn't conatct us first, in which case i'll postpone my wedding an extra year....haha" (a starbucks rep did reply to my suggestion for a 'global rendez-vous' campaign)

editors correction:

i haven't really come up with any of the ideas for my last 4 posts....it's all been topics deemed by my totalitarian editor. dora kuo. fine, she's not a fascist...she's just engaged. while dora is my muse....others have triple lutz mewwzays.

8:58 AM

i spent the last 3 hours holding in my piss, playing ipod dj and warming the seat of a toyota corolla. i was tired and yawning by midnight, but couldn't turn down a blindfolded run into the mountains of yang ming mountain (the retreat for locals young and old for fresh air, nice scenery, good company, hot tea, hot springs). it's not that we got lost, we were just "exploring" (that was supposed to be a sarcastic reference to men not asking for direction but ugh that sounds disgusting. i went with larry, dUH). we eventually found the destination not for good or bad, but for future reference.

i dont know anyone who is into podcasts. so if you are...HOLLA!!!....anyways, i really reccommend "the onion" podcast....its 2 minute clips are absolutely hilarious. the one i just saw "JK ROWLING HINTS AT HARRY POTTER DATE RAPE"...HAAAAAAAAAAAA....oh man, im dying.

11:47 AM

there's something wrong in taiwan. this post could be fueled by the monthlong rainfest, but i'm not the first to be voicing a concern on the issue of a taiwanese demise. i'm hovering at the 3 year mark in taipei, and moreso this time, i feel i'm returning to a stale and static environment. muggy air and torrential downpour cloud taiwan air, but stagnant growth and economic handicapp cripple the taiwanese heir. visually, the lack of infrastructure development brings question upon the people, and when i think about my experiences with local youth and local elders, forward thought seems to be hindered by some kind of east west clash...and there always seems to be an undertone of revel at the outside world. life revolves around a hard work ethic without even keel, a democratic freedom for risk...the kind of risk that will put this country at the forefront of its only dominant industry, semiconductors. i'm not well versed enough to be antagonizing the culture of formosa and not here to strike a debate on the details of country specifics, but as a quasi-foreigner, coming in and out of the straits, the political issues seem to have become blatantly weighing down an entire culture. from a personal standpoint, and the complete hassle of applying for a visa, visa extensions, opening a bank account, getting a credit card, opening a business, everything is completely non-foreign friendly. doesn't welcome foreign investment or foreign spending which absolutely makes zero sense to me, esp when i just opened an acct in singapore with one local sponsor, a passport and some cash. 25 minutes.

this politcal duel of independence and unity has pushed into the theoretical stubbornness phase of debate and has overcome the more prevalent issue of ACTUAL well being. even the masses have bought into the nationalistic push for independence and come election time, they have forgotten that maybe an aggressive economic policy might be better for the time being rather than the concept of alienating everyone in the entire world that doesn't recognize green independence.

it's stale here. really it is.

"why is american government the best government"

"because of our endless appeal system."

-thank you for smoking

pretty cool stuff....

http://www.ecologycenter.org/recycling/biodiesel_pressrelease.pdf

http://cysg.com/biodiesel.html

biodiesel taiwanstale

6:54 AM

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXqHEM9U3mo]

mayerstandup

11:47 PM

Drama: She ran from you like a chicken with a bad cough.
Eric: What the hell does that mean>?
Drama: It's an avian flu reference.

i found this hilarious.

10:48 PM

"he should come out with a sextape...and if i don't see it in shanghai,
then he's not working hard enough"

it just so happens that me and dora only meet at starbucks. it's our global rendez-vous point. so we think that we should take a global TOUR of all the starbucks' in the world, that could be an awesome ad campaign. they should pay us, and i would blog about it. think of it. isn't it awesome?

bye bye "heroin is so passe"...i finally bought new shoes.

so last night, at room 18, i met this girl who had beautiful loaves of wholesome goodness. even if her boobs were were pushed up, they were still big and wonderful. after talking to her for 5 minutes, we hit a lull, danced a bit then she came back to me and asked "do you think im fat?"....

WTF?!@#!@#!@#!!@@#!!@#

kellyhufat socialitesextape starbuckstouradcampaign

11:16 PM

without realizing it, it's the third anniversary of GO TIME.

i wrote a poem but i need some help with the last line

六月單身寂寞走
出去泡妞吃人肉（interchangeable with 嫩肉)
回家喝酒再打炮
六月六月不要走

liu yue dan shen ji muo zou
chu qu pao niu chi ren rou (nen rou)
hui jia he jiu zai da pao
liu yue liu yue bu yao zou

here is wills poem which he calls "mandarin victor"

六月初﹐天氣熱
杏仁豆腐降火氣
六月底﹐KILOKIA
幹到自己沒力氣

liu yue chu, tian qi re
xing ren dou fu jiang huo qi
liu yue di, kilokia (open up your throat and just let it flow)
gan dao zi ji mei li qi

do you think this is how all totalitarian leaders got started? with lines like...

"we're just born better"

gotimepoems

10:45 PM

i've been legitimately accused of one-upping people. and in fact that
one-upping persona has slowly possessed a good portion of who i am.
[one upping means always trying to "one better someone elses story" for
instance..."oh yea? well my dad can jump over mountains and squash
trees with one foot"] as much as the accusation is legit, in my
defense, my one-upping comes off genuinely as a conversation additive
due to my pro-active calculated random journey of life....like this
weekend, i ended up in a macau court. if someone ever randomly had a
story to tell about macaunese judiciary system, i'd be all over it. OH
YEA? WELL, MY JUDGE HAD A GAVEL INSTEAD OF A HAND.

i'm back in taiwan. i thought to myself "i miss taiwan" on the bus while staring at street signs and reminiscing. but i changed my mind the moment i got off the bus. it wasn't the torrential downpour that made me feel like i plunged into a vat of incubated water, but rather it was the humidity that engulfed me as if i was mired in a sewer of humidity. and after tonights email from will and my mom not being around to pass
me the new house keys, i should have stayed in HK, gone to sha tin and waited for will to come back just to hear the nights "story" in person. mada effer.

a glimpse into the future. this is us in 30 years. hedonistic generations and cultures of debauchery are all the same. nuances of games, yelling, dancing and sexual inuendo. ki-lo-kia!

uncle and auntie.

9:12 AM

"IT SAVED MY MARRIAGE"

VCRSAVESMARRIAGE

4:20 PM

am i bad influence? that's what larry calls me. but then again, he's the one that influenced us to start beverage consumption at 11am on the 7th day. or am i just an 'iconic figure of fun' as will calls it. but it's not really me, nor is it larry. this whole culture of indulgence comes with minimal negative connotation out here. an accepted subset of people with supportive wives, adjunct peers and admiring bystanders. you ever think that as many people who are annoyed at your loud and obnoxious behavior boozin it up at a public restaurant that there are probably just as many who are jealous and want in. hahaa...anyway, i wrote this a few weeks back when in macau, coincidentally, i just came back from macau again and here's good ole larry doin it up in macau....

If people who haven?t been to China can confidently shriek Chinese
stereotypes on accurate whim, imagine the comic relief they?d be able
to pull off if they took a trip out there. (Chinese haircuts, Chinese
spitting on street, Chinese in pajamas at the mall, Chinese and
toothpicks ? durtee china).

"there?s something about will this time around, he looks a little different" ? mom.
"HE?S TURNED CHINA!!!" and he?ll be the first one to admit it, almost confusingly proud.

"On
hot days at the office, I?ve found myself knowingly rolling up my pant
leg, [unevenly cuffing them at mid calf, exposing the unhealthiest
looking measly off-white stork leg which contrasts the white sock black
shoe combination] and going into a [missing vertebrae] slouch
position." ? lee wei ning AH.

When it gets hot, Chinese people
will un-tuck their [10 for $10] dress shirt and pull the tails of the
shirt upwards drawing the ?skin/shirt? line right above the areola,
then in order to maintain this 36th parallel, dexterously clamping down
both stained armpits to hold this new mesmerizing technique of staying
cool. You can only imagine what the exposed underbelly looks like not
to mention the extreme comfort these people exude when in their new
outfit. They?ll walk around slapping their bellys, squishing the fat
around the love handles, examining their belly buttons, run fingers
through the happy trail all in some public setting absolutely ruining
any scenic landscape. LIKE IN MACAU! Just as we pulled up at the Sands,
I saw a guy walking around the front valet area doing just this. Will
said he?s gonna have to do this right behind some couple trying to take
a picture, adding the Chinese flare of authenticity. Hilarious.

rice maggot omlette.

larrychina

3:26 PM

i think that for any work environment, a good, clean, comfortable, bathroom is very very crucial.

i was thinking about this for a while. alice is a formal, full letter kind of person. so is esther. they never keep u updated with short information injections, but rather wait for that intro/middle/conclusion type letter that takes u by storm, is almost too heavy to ingest, too intricate to comprehend, and too profound for cleaning out your inbox....so you start reading it and have to end up leaving it for the rainy day when u're ready to respond...3 weeks later. so it's not only that technology has brought the world of acronyms into our lives, but it's also abridged the the well thought out approach of our fullest relationships. it's brought about a lot of 'en whim' reactions and bottom line instigations...rather than a more fully thought out approach to philosphize the topic at hand.

autopilot v. ups.

Because Of You lyrics

[Verse 1:]
Want to, but I can help it
I love the way it feels,
It got me stuck between my fantasy and what is real
I need it when I want it, I want it when I don
Tell myself Il stop everyday, knowin?that I won't

[Bridge:]
I got a problem and I don know what to do about it
Even if I did, I don know if I would quit but I doubt it
I taken by the thought of it, and I know this much is true
Baby, you have become my addiction, I so strung out on you
I can barely move but I like it

[Chorus:]
And it all because of you [3X]
And it all because?br>
Never get enough,
She the sweetest drug

[Verse 2:]
Think of it every second
I can't get nothing done,
Only concern is the next time, I gonna get me some
Know I should stay away from, cause it's no good for me
I try and try but my obsession wont let me leave

[Bridge:]
I got a problem and I don know what to do about it
Even if I did, I don know if I would quit but I doubt it
I taken by the thought of it, and I know this much is true
Baby, you have become my addiction, I so strung out on you
I can barely move but I like it

[Chorus:]
And it all because of you (all because of you) [3X]
And it all because?br>
Never get enough,
She the sweetest drug

Ain no doubt, so strung out [2X]
Over you, over you, over you

Because of you,
And it all because of you,
Never get enough
She the sweetest drug, she the sweetest drug

autopilotups

9:39 PM

"let's whiskey tonight"

there are some people that u can whiskey with and do stupid shit with for life. then there are those who want to take a break from the stupid and analyze the stupid. but it's not stupid. so in the midst of understanding one another more, learning about the different levels of chi and controlling oneself in one owns realm, i, somewhere during the johnnie walker induced bus ride, thought, "my inability and insecureness to handle women has undermined my career. and not the other way around. it wouldn't have been so much as a blatant statement if i continued the path of academia. but i didn't."

there's this one guy taiwanese guy in china that i am seriously in awe at. he embodies taiwanese machismo. first off, his name is sky and the only way i can describe him is; imagine how taiwanese people say versace...."VUHSAH-SSS"...if you understand that, then understand he's the young guy with a cigarette and betelnut in his mouth, in capri shorts, a flowery shirt and white loafers. pale skin, gold chain, rolex and parted non gelled hair. he'll constantly flick his head back and use his thumb to part his hair out of his eyes. all whilst jutting his non musclar chest out to point at u and yell, KI-LO-KIA....which means..."force ur throat open and just let it flow" then there's the "four dollar one" but i like "ki-lo-kia" better.

the introduction of "KI-LO-KIA" marks the inception of my lifes new creedo. in addition, it triggers the beginning of a new line of footwear and glassware. with the 4 of us immersed in the novelty of "ki-lo-kia" we pushed our influence upon others around us. like uncle ma. with my spartan mom out of town, i made arrangements to have dinner and drinks with the ex-owner of multiple ktvs and discos.

within 30 minutes, uncle ma had already chimed in on the "will is gay" jokes. timmie said it was the "best night out he's had since arriving in HK"

timmie ended up in the toilet. and that's what came up. delish.

kilokia uncle ma

9:32 PM

there are a plethora of reasons that i love going to the Dong Guan, to the Hou Jie. but to eat authentic home cooked, gigantic 25 person seafood paella JUST TAKES MY LOVE FOR THE DG to a WHOLE DIFFERENT LEVEL. i mean...it's one thing to be in the states, learn how to cook this stuff on tV or from recipes, it's a complete different story to be learning from spaniard and son....and them bringing all the equipment from home just to cook for the chinese. (whom i have a qualm about because i dont really understand why chinese people can't appreciate ethnic cuisine. they will eat an awesome non chinese meal, think its awesome but not be satisfied and go home to eat instant noodles or a bowl of rice....like my dad) in anycase, i loved it....it was fuggin FANTASTIC. AND I AM GOING TO MAKE IT AT THE NEXT BBQ. i'm totally learning all these new recipes that when i come back, it's going to be a friggin FEAST!...

pipi doesn't speak a LICK of english but completely understands everything. and if we don't understand what he's saying, he'll show us his bodily parts. yeehaW!

the prep work