48 hours left in NYC...we went into Jack bauer mode. - ** eric here is your moment for a guest blog**
West Village residents plan exit strategies for two annual events, the Gay Pride Parade and the Halloween Parade. And when you live in Mordor, ahem Murray Hill, waking up on St. Patricks day morning is sobering enough to wash away any soju induced haze (thanks Arang). Luckily for weary New Yorkers, there's a place where nary a drunken frat douche will ever trespass. That safe zone, that heavenly escape, is Flushing.
11am Text from Alex "In the car, be there in 5 min, playing 杜德偉" A religious person would say it was divine intervention. I say Mrs. Chin was having a concert in Reno.
It didn't take much to wrangle Rico into coming along for the ride, little did anyone realize the critical role he would later play in our escapade.
Alex took a right turn off 25th st into 3rd ave and directly into a green sea of drunken co-eds. I couldn't help but recall a childhood memory of my family taking a trip to a 'drive-through' zoo in Taiwan. I remember briefly stopping under a tree and within seconds being attacked by an angry pack of spider monkeys. You can only imagine the lasting image of tens of primates penis-thrusting against the windshield pausing only to throw spit and rub feces against the car hood. I was stricken with the same nauseating feeling sitting in Alex's BMW that morning as we were within an arms distance from hordes of drunks. Grand Theft Auto turned reality as inebriated kids were crossing streets despite oncoming traffic, I could see "+100 Points" flash above our car as we successfully advance one block to the next, and a major stage win once we reached the Queens Midtown Tunnel.
"So your parents were looking for a parking spot, and came home with an apartment?" Having a private parking spot in Flushing is worth its weight in gold. Free from distractions we were able to concentrate on the task at hand, meet up with Benny and stuff our faces with a variety of dim sum goodness, stomach, tripe, chicken feet, shrimp this and pork that. "I'm sorry, you didn't want the black bean clams? Too bad, here it is." Sometimes when you're not in a decision making mood, surrounding yourself with army of motherly dim sum servers isn't a bad idea... Rico had an extra dose of Chinese hospitality as well. "Never had the fresh tofu with honey drizzle? Here, have the whole bowl."
Meeting Benny was fun for a couple of reasons, his family, like my dad's, spent time in Indonesia and it was nice to know that I could easily pass as a local if I ever manage to find my way down there. The second being his general worry-less attitude towards Alex's impending departure. It's nice to see that the general nonchalant air runs in the Chin family. It also reminds me that as bummed friends and family are to see Alex start his new life in Seoul, we're all confident in his ability to adapt and excel in his new environment (how's that for a reference letter?). Better yet, as soon as we log on to Xanga and FB, we get the treat of taking a momentary teleport to the life and adventures of a dear friend half way around the world.
Three quick stops before making our way back to St. Patty's wasteland:
Sheraton - Rest stop, patio lounge, and the equivalent of a Chinese Hot Topic with tight dresses and faux fur. "How much do you think she charges, $80 at most ... right?" Also, China Airlines stewardesses stay here between flights? See you soon Amber.
Chinese bakery - Pastries for Amanda and ice coffee and milk tea as we stalk a particular eBay seller on the smartphone. It wouldn't come to this if our girlfriends made introductions, but that's a separate rant and not as fun as ogling over headless modeling photos as a table of Chinese grandma's stare at us with disapproving eyes.
Paris Baguette - Finishing our iced beverages and avoiding whiplash, I come to this epiphany. "Summer in the Hamptons? How about a summer house in Flushing? Penthouse rental, spa, foot massage, and karaoke all day long. Fuck white parties, champagne fireworks, magnums and i-bankers."
It wasn't until the end of our time in Flushing when we came across a single St. Patty's day reveler. Certainly out of his element but easily digestible at that point. Nevertheless, a reminder of what's awaiting us in Mordor.
The drive back was quick, and we were mindful not to look down 3rd ave as we passed by, why acknowledge something that's inevitable, buy as much sanity time as possible. Parking in NYC is it's own pressure cooker. Where the do you buy parking tokens? If there's a card slot, why can't it just take credit cards? The city's charges up to $20 in parking fees, do they really expect drivers to carry those amounts in quarters?
Rico's moment of glory shines when he convinces Alex to parallel into a space no longer than the car itself. Like a life coach for professional athletes, Rico provides the same service for occasional drivers. "YES! You can do it." "Ignore the camera Alex, use your feeling." Holy shit Yoda it's happening! 20 back and forth turns on the steering wheel and amazing enough the tightest parallel job in Manhattan is complete. 2in of give, front and back. "This feeling, you can't buy it with money." Alex rewards Rico's with a guest pass to Equinox. Give your friends the gift of steam...
Overall, a great way to spend time with a departing friend. Good jokes, good food, good music and good company.
