emotionally available.

Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer. - RAINER MARIA RILKE

im becoming more sensitive.  its a good thing.  im definitely more emotionally available.  i'm less stoic.  i show emotion.  i felt a rush of joy officiating lewis' wedding.  i use words like i miss you a lot more openly.  and i've oft gone back to reread rainer maria rilke agreeing waiting for the moment when i would be able to grasp "the answers" but "i wasn't able to live them".  but this time reading those emotions...it seems have touched me...maturity is a good thing for me.

You are so young, so before all beginning, and I want to beg you, as much as I can, dear sir, to be patient toward all that is unsolved in you heart and to try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them.. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer. Perhaps you do carry within yourself the possiblity of shaping and forming as particularly happy and pure way of living; train yourself to it-but take whatever comes with great trust, and if only it comes out of your own will, out of some need of your inmost being, take it upon yourself and hate nothing.

-rainer maria rilke