shell - ray

shell - ray; that's how i have him saved in my phone.  to me, it suffices as a quick stereotype adjectif for the brazenly loud texan.  portly, short, husky, go-T, a flare of southern hospitality, a flare of testosterone ego, a flare emotional machismo.  and now he's got scrapes and scratches all over his arms and legs from those damn barnacles.

we were "sittin on the dock o the bay" @ bill's house. and after a night of bbq'ing and heavy fine wine consumption, duncan, the record holder from the previous months drunken canal swim, put up the challenge of breaking his 2.5 minute record of swimming the backyard boat canal.  and at 11pm on a saturday evening, piss drunk off wine, singing "SIX FOOT SEVEN FOOT EIGHT FOOT BUNCH!", ray stood up, stripped down to his birthday suit, unabashedly swung around for pictures before jumping into the water. 

2 minutes flat.  shell - ray. bill's canal swimming record holder.