happy first monday 2011.

the first monday of the new year is full of smiles and happy new years...well let this be my time to hate.  i stayed in the past 2 days with a headache and stomach ache but more importantly to get the proper rest because i am so scared of what this new year comes with.  just let me vent to get back to an even keel before i proceed to doing my tasks one at a time.   but with certain figures around me that once seemed so promising, which have turned out to be power tripping and unprofessionally condescending in which it does not fuel motivation.  so i sit there the first hour of the first day at of the new year with a bad taste in my mouth.  actually, i received an email 12 hours previous...decided to wait until now to respond.  and of course, i knew it'd be a futile rebuttal, but i needed to send out a rebuttal nonetheless. 

it's surprising that i haven't spent anytime talking about the d-bag.  let's start with this anecdote.  "hey, whats your number?  you know the magic number for retirement"...

"that's a personal question, i don't want to answer it"

even those peers that i have already vented to this guy about were quite amused with this response.  it was just something completely douche-y out of left field.  who says that?  do i need to sit here and explain how this question wasn't personal?  and why do i spend so many hours questioning..."who are you?  and where do you get off being how you are?"  how do you make comments like "f*k it,  u take tw.  he made his money w/o tw.  i don't need tw."  you being aggressive is one thing, but if it affects the relationships that i build and i have to apologize on your behalf...then that's a problem.  and esp when it took me 3 days just to get that relationship going the right way, all it took was one arrogant phone call for him to hang up on u.

why is it that some people feel emboldened about respect?  why is it that westerners cannot see past their own culture and understand asian gestures of respect.  a bow doesn't mean you're lower than someone else.  it just shows you are humble and respectful?  on the flip side,  i am slowly understanding the underlying nuances with certain cultures (arab) that feel that "if i act like a hot shot, ppl will take me as a hotshot"  whereas i feel the exact opposite in the states.  "the more you act like a hotshot, the more i think u're a douchebag"...successful people who choose to act like a hotshot learn quickly to tightrope that fine line of modesty when need-be, but it seems that those who inherit that title feel entitled to hotshot status. 

that's one half of how i've started this new year.  then there's the other part of over committing myself to being helpful to those around me.  maybe i just don't think too much about things, and now i've become a victim of not having my own space in my own apartment.  housing people and dogsitting, when it is a time where i may need that space to develop myself.   in saying so, the dogs do help curb my drinking habit which seems to be spiraling out of control.  there is good chance that i won't have my first drink until thursday of this week.  we shall see.