grandpa lived a good life...

moment of silence pls....

i'm slow with reality.  i'm slow with the poignant matters of human emotion.  i'm slow with the fragile embodiment of human mortality.  i'm slow to let reality and emotional backlash to hit equilibrium.  i'm still in a surreal state and i still come off unphased.  but even i know i'm not @ 100%.  my mind flashes memories of gramps in hourly intervals and i don't know how to handle it. 

gramps went to sleep sunday night and never came back to this world.  i got the news sitting in sq economy class.  and i just shrugged it off. i couldn't sleep on the way to bangkok...didn't really sleep throughout the trip to rayong and back...and been running on fumes since then.  now i'm in taipei. 

i've been getting flashes intermittently about gramps.  the last time i saw him.  the last words he said to me. my last visual of him.  i think he lived a good life.  a happy life. he was a simple man with simple needs.  he loved and cared for the people around him and received the same in return.  

i miss him.  (i came home today with all these receipts and the first thing i wanted to do was to give gramps a hi-5 and pass him all my receipts) - in taiwan, receipts have numbers on them that act as lotto tickets.

i'm worried for my grandma.  i held her in my arms crying last night.  i think she's better today.  i told her that her hair smelled so she's now across the street getting a hairwash.

i'm worried for my mom.