cold hearted....

this is real concern of mine: i've been called "cold hearted" 4x this month by the person closest to me.  a current string of events that has allowed my inner competitive nature to maniacally surface and rampage, has added too much fuel to the already cut-throat/burn-bridges perception of me.  i am here to argue that as the basis of her perception may be true to a certain degree, this perspective is completely taken out of context.  i acknowledge that i don't take rejection/failure lightly, i pine and whine and strategize and will even take a loss just to win in the end.  i don't like to be stepped on when i deem it important and i will make myself heard (nothing trivial like road rage).  and because i've contested persistantly and connivingly alongside a pervious instant of "burning bridges" im now cold hearted...i have always been one to argue that "nice" is overrated.  depending on the dynamics of one person, just "nice" is not only bland and boring, but often times it represents a "lack of backbone"...im not here to judge a lack of backbone, i just don't like to be around it.  fair enough?  for me to be antagonized for making an conscious decision of rejection without outward harm has me in the connotated shithouse.  whereas i feel the ability to make a firm action after assessing the consequences, is the discipline that makes the driven drive faster and with more focus.