there's another angle to this need for me to create a home for myself,
to furnish my apartment and make it more than liveable, but chill-able
in, cuz with no internet to steal, i feel lonely at home. i came home
with a very annoying feeling of loneliness actually wanting to drink
myself to sleep so the night can go a bit faster. however, with my
recent urge to detox and to test my own ability to exercise self control,
i refrained from that extra beer or four and went home. these nights,
if i feel a bit fatigue, im even a bit wary to take a shower prior to
slumber for the fear that a rinse will all of a sudden jolt the second
wind, revive my mental state to a level of insomnia. mind over matter
mind over matter, i showered and laid down in bed. of course, here i
am, awake again and typing on xanga.
haidah's lunch.
my lunch.
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