why is it so dark here?

"rolex?"  the 20 something year old with semi dyed hair mouthed as he crept up towards the car window, right btwn the gas pump and the side view mirror of our VW golf.

"rolex?" he mouthed again, bringing the gold faced watch just high enough to view...

this probably sums up every trip i've taken to malaysia, puts the icing of confirmation for the hours spent on conversation trying to figuring out what i feel is an aboslutely WEIRD country.  i can understand jakarta and it's chaos, malaysia however falls into neither extremes of chaos nor order but is still in the category of extreme.  it gives me that feeling of frustration without doing anything.  it's not just the feeling of forgone potential/opportunity but something else, something else that leaves an awkward taste in my mouth...that taste of star anise mixed with indian dull numbing chilli, that taste of nutrasweet, or that taste of panda wok MSG overdose ...antsy. uncomfortable. confused. frustrated.

malaysia just seems to be blanketed in darkness only illuminated by the cheap light blue hue of fluorescent bar lighting.  flickers a few times before turning on, sufficiently illuminates the room to give everyone in the area a sickly pasty skin tone and has successfully embedded itself as the real national color, faded, too much detergent, light fluorescent blue.   it's hard for me not to notice these things, call me descriptive, call me long winded, call me bored, even call me OCD, but these are the first things that pop into my head when i'm sitting 2 miles away from the main road, off a 72 hole golf course, on a rocking deck, overlooking a dirty river, at a restaurant run by malaysian aboriginies, staring at my food lit by the most uncomfortable of fluorescent lights....then i look around at the neighboring floating houses, and they too, have that one flickering bar of light ricketing on their doorstep ceiling.  stop complaining, just eat, it's cheap, it's good.

the four of us dined over heinekens and seafood and TY's ridiculous silence.  it's unnerving meeting someone for the first time and having him speak as much as a remote control the entire meal.  it lights up when u push a button so you know it works, but u're not sure if the signal is being received by the tv.  the buttons kind of make some noise when u try squishing them harder down into the plastic niche, but overall stays a silent block of plastic most of the time.  so me n kenn picked up the slack, recapping the days events, moving onto the topic of slaughtering cows, kenn even found the rocking of the dock due to the waves more interesting than present company, and i brought up my OCD-observant comparative behavioral nuances of smokers, induced by the only man i know that smokes with an extra filtered tip, mr hanif.

to me, smoking looks cool.  there's just something about it.  hollywood makes it look cool.  joe camel makes it look cool.  korean dramas make it look damn cool.  i've smoked in front of the mirror many a time to find my cool pose with stog.  but i'm not a smoker.  tough to really find a fitting gesture.   but i'll still admire a cool smoker when i come across one.  i've studied many a smoker.  holding the stog between the index and middle fingers...holding the stog between thumb and middle finger....sucking on the nicotine stick with head up, head down, lips pouted, lips puckered, squating, standing, sitting, driving, cooking, doing make up, etc....and there is no one in the world that inhales with such presence as an INDONESIAN SMOKER.  99.5% of the population smokes.  and when they smoke, there's no gesture of flamboyance but rather the inhalation of carcinogenic understated exhilaration.  they take the deepest, longest pull without making much of an effort or noise, and inhale the smoke so far down their body, that they'll talk for a good 20 seconds before i see smoke come out of their mouth.  for most smokers, the exhaled air will be a thick cloud of white, for the indo's, they'll exhale 5% opacity.  they smoke with such ardent force that their pulling ability is so strong, the tobacco doesn't burn fast enough to ash properly before they are taking another pull....always hot red ash in the ashtray, not the white burnt ash.  crazy!  indo smokers come to the table and plop their nokia communicator log on the table alongside, 2 full packs of cigarettes and a lighter on top.   halfway through dinner 5 sticks will be gone and once dinner if finished, they'll chain smoke a the rest of the first pack while fidgeting with the 2nd unopened pack.  just imagine how fast the 2nd pack goes when there's no more food to be eaten and the drinks begin.....

dinner wasn't THAT boring.  i just have a lot to say.  so moving on, did you know that aboriginal malaysians are qualified for special permits that allow them to cross the malay singapore border without a passport?  the rules out in asia, i feel are just randomly set in place for people to have guidelines to break.  perfect for me.  i don't believe in rules.

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kenn taking a piss...

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amas nusa - definitely one big party on board.  the entire crew is indonesian.  all friends, went to school together. dining room has a lil karaoke alcove, definitely used the night before.