swindled.

2 beers at dimsum.


and with alice being on vacation, grace on spring break and larry craving liquor...4pm happy hour.


strawberry sex- the conversation was already teeming with ridiculous hilarious topics that while alice told "the story" (read below) in the cab, we laughed so hard that the cab driver juiced up the radio to blow us out....BAD KIDS BAD....and somewhere along "the story" references, we got onto the subject of hair.....

larry has this huge issue with my vanity.  in fact, he goes one step
beyond condemning ways of metrosexual grooming and has lectured on his
dissapproval of the entire fashion industry.  if it's not muscle bound,
machismo filled, protein laden, male on male grappling themed,
equestrian faced, or sleeveless, he wants nothing to do with it.  and
yet today...dot dot dot...pomma.  FUGGIN POMMA.

before....


during...larry of course being drunk, was passing out everywhere.





after.


since he signed up for a queer eye makeover and graceYUKlee wanted a haircut...alice and i agreed on the hairwash.  i got shafted with the worst service ever.  i literally just got my hair washed with zero massage.  they offered me no beverage and since the woman who blow dried and put product in my hair was a creative stylists, she charged me effin 180HKD...anything less than the cheapest shit on their price list was a fuggin ridiculous.  the other 3 on the other hand, although they got what they signed up for at 1k each, the end result was so shitty, larry went up to his stylists and made her tear "this haircut is ugly, i wanted something else and u gave me this"...hahaha....



we went to eat. larry didn't stop being ridiculous.  he smashed his face into a plate of rice with some chilli residue in it....it got in his eye...hahaha....



karaoke.

---

"the story"

doctors tend to have a way about being very blase when it comes to matters of the body.  warren is not only a doctor who speaks of bodily matters technically blase but also happens to be the head of the taiwanese brazilian jujitsu team.  Ergo he is quite the role model for young 20 year old impressionable boys.  specifically, this one 20 year old virgin who confided in him that with his new girlfriend just your orthodox up the procreation hole wasn't enough to satisfy his libido.  he wanted the yin to that yang and told warren that he wanted to give the pooper a good run around.   warren yawned, and with no further hesitation gave the proper "the backdoor is a different  you gotta make sure you clean it out, do the whole enema deal...etc" speech

the kid, heeding the wisdom of the great jujitsu doctor, took a practical approach to his new knowledge.  so one day, while taking a shower with his girlfriend he unscrewed the showerhead, and jammed the hose up his gf's butt.  HAAAAAAAAAAA.  then he got all frantic and shut off the water because the girl started to poop in the shower.   HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

the girl of course broke up with him.  she actually started to date the neighboring dorm buddy and now makes a point to shriek in ecstasy loud enough for him to hear it. 

oh man....can you just imagine the references to this story that ensued?

---

there's actually another story about the words gay and fag etched in my arm and a 'friends(tv show) eff u elbow tap gesture' alongside a  "with your powers combined i am captain homo" rant...only to be finished off with a "chasing amy/bionic seven" hadooken uppercut.  BUT, i dont know how to tell that one online.