"you're really turning into me"

i just have no patience for things anymore.  if i weren't drinking, i would have probably left.  cuz i was getting annoyed.  "you're really turning into me....do you have a yellow to go with that?  trust me u have to eat first.  i know what's good for you"... it's ridiculous how jaded i've become.  even if i can still pull off the somewhat happy energetic person, the flare of whim is from boredom rather than from the essence of living life.  drained by work, drained by social misfortunes, drained by greed and drained by....my own personality.  

i just went through some old xanga posts and i've been lucky enough to do a lot of stuff...and cuz im opinionated of stuff...its almost like i have nothing good to say about anything.and we were talking about that over the weekend. about how i always want more.  its ambition...but then it also makes you jaded.  and how much and how awesome things are in the present is only relative to what was prior.  can't just have its inherent value.  it's a downward spiral.  "trust me, i understand" - mc.