jakarta...

its cliched for tragic occurrences to enlighten the value of life and maybe that's why i dont think it's the confrontation of death that breaks my stoic barriers but rather it's the need to embrace human mortality for me to fully grasp its fragile concept...and while i've hit a legitimate age for a few years running now, i have yet to be taken that serioussly in that field for a plethora of immature reasons...regardless, this is the time where my generation advances and stabilizes themselves professionally and even might get married with kids ....but in addition, this growth may also mark the passing of the torch mortally.  i've gone to my share of weddings the past few years, but coincidentally for whatever reason, the death toll of acquaintances has also gone up...things hit you when you're finally ready for it but you're never ready for anything thats about to hit you.

my uncles son passed away unexpectedly sunday evening...i've never met the guy, but the way it affected the people around me put a pretty quick stop to fun in bangkok (we found out while in the car driving from bkk to pattaya)...anyways...we rushed back to singapore/jakarta to attend the wake last night and the creamation this morning....completely surreal. no one really ever knows how to react in this situation, there never is one good way to respond and be there for others and that process, for me, took a while to learn. its good enough just to be there with family even if you are acting uncertain, wary and scared, they appreciate your support and respect and just need people, especially family to be around them....and in just letting yourself be there you make them feel better and they make you feel better....

i dont think you can help thinking about your own family when watching others in poignant situations...and its sad that tragic occurrences are what increases value to the priority scale...but i guess that's just human maturation...