mid life crisis (coachella 2015)




academia circa 1997....i do remember a time in my life where music was my life.  when i wouldn't go anywhere without headphones and a walkman, a discman, a minidisc player, an mp3 player, an iPod. there was a lot of effort looking for the new pearl jam bootleg, winding up the messed up tape film with my number two pencil, tediously holding the discman like a waiter while listening to it on the bus ride home...i was pretty cool to have the minidisc player in college as it never caught on....but with my low fi mix tape making skills well honed in high school, i had a buffet of mixtape genres ready for each of the girls that surrounded me at bobst library...

 The making of a great compilation tape, like breaking up, is hard to do and takes ages longer than it might seem. You gotta kick off with a killer, to grab attention. Then you got to take it up a notch, but you don't wanna blow your wad, so then you got to cool it off a notch. There are a lot of rules. Anyway... I've started to make a tape... in my head... for Laura. Full of stuff she likes. Full of stuff that make her happy. For the first time I can sort of see how that is done.


long gone are the days when music consumed my life.  if i didn't have annual spurts of car radio time, i'd have no clue about anything top 40.  beiber is 21 now??  taylor swift wrote a song about john mayer??? jamie fox is with katie holmes??  and have u heard the lyrics to that usher song??  (shawty i don't mind if you dance on a pole that don't make you hoe....i dont mind when you workin till three if you're leaving me...go make that money money money money)....usher has taken his nymphomaniac prowess and adapted with the times.  commoditizing women and layering it over electronic beats.  "who sings this song...dont look down...it's very catchy...."

"u have a good ear...how could you tell its usher??"  - trips with people reveal a lot of equally important secondary qualities.  not that there's much more to reveal at this point, but it's nevertheless always refreshing.  and quite frankly, im probably the one holding in a plethora of talents purposely unused as the choice of being the petulant child tagging along in the back without a care in the world...is much more fun than being responsible.  ironically, my subconscious won't let me let loose...
"are you depressed???"

**

i don't know how it happened.  because i had originally said NO to coachella.  but dre booked the ticket and before i knew it.  i was heading to the airport at 5am.  did i even realize what i was getting myself into?  i didn't even think about it.  i've heard friends rant and rave about it being an amazing musical experience...but even in my teens, the thought of a dirty outdoor venue with porta potty's didn't strike the slightest enthusiasm in me...three days in the desert?  are we staying in a tent?  traffic?  oh its gonna be hot.  so many people.  why???  because i do most things for the company.  because i go for dre, i go for becky and i go for amanda.  thats reason enough.

dre flew in from sf thirty minutes prior to me.  i landed walked outside and him and the chevy cobalt rental was already pulling into terminal 5.  google calendar reminders were pinging to meet at the specified walmart for supplies...where becky and amanda led the charge for music festival catered sustainence.  an hour later, the coconut water and vapor inhalers were loaded and we headed east...into the desert.  the efficiency was bewildering.

it's not that i couldn't be efficient.  but most of the time, why bother.  i had to borrow dads shorts which he took out of his luggage when i picked him up the night before.  threw on a tshirt with a hole, a hoody that i think was from costco...and packed some underwear into the purple luggage that i found in my sisters room.  i still made it didn't i???

i came of age in the lolapalooza era of the late 90s and early 2000s headlined by stone temple pilots and ezra and green day and ludacris and bjork and jurassic 5 and that guy that sang "MOTHER" and bands and guitars and drum solos and rappers and booty dancers running amuck on stage speaking into a mic and revving up the crowd.  today's music festivals headline dj's who don't speak, fist pump...seemingly playing a premixed set....and play a light show hypnotizing sardines of people jumping up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down.   we slipped on the not cheap vip neon green bracelets, stuck the vip parking pass on the windshield and by 5pm we were the ones waiting on line to fist pump in front of the dj

coachella does it right.  after 15 years.  they've got it right.  adam smith would've been proud.  a perfect dichotomy portraying laissez faire where your status is blatantly colored on your wrist band with a magnetic tag.  its a blatant caste system, with secular vip pathways and gated vip areas serving organic food alongside liquor...in contrast, the plebs drink generic beer and eat gmo infested pad thai made by white people... when we finally made it in....it was quite a mesmerizing sight to see, it was quite a sight to attend.  a musically contrived carnival of music laid out like a modern day fair complete with a ferris wheel and tacos.   90 thousand wannabe bohemians spread across 80 acres peacefully frolicking between 7 stages of bands... it was dry heat, it was peaceful, it was clean, it was calm...and the mixing of music in the distance was soothing as we sipped smoothies and checked out the view...(of teens in lingerie)

edm day one.  r3hab (ciara made a cameo).  pete tong.  alesso...i kept looking over at becky saying..."wow...we are in the friggin desert...this is amazing"  we partied till the thing ended.  we hugged and we chatted.  the desert breeze crawled down our spine, the smell of grass tickled our noses...we kept buying 2 dollar waters....and we danced...and we danced....AC/DC was quite amazing....and we danced and we danced....



there's something to be said about turning the desert into a club.  the sahara tent is an airplane hanger that they turn into a pseudo subwoofer pumping out edm and teenage perspiration where the mosh pit tramples over mid life crisis diginity.  there's an annoyance to be smushed up in a hangar in the middle of the desert getting kicked in the face by moshers and an 11 year old sitting on her brothers shoulders two people to the left of me.  and then there's an adrenaline rush from being smushed up in a hangar in the middle of the desert getting kicked in the face by moshers while hugging the people next to you.  it was complete sensory overload.  and while u're getitng over that, the music...when u find the right dj.  was phenomenal.  cedric gervais....



when the sun sets at coachella, the venue becomes willy wonka's fantasy land....or great adventure at halloween,  an adult fantasy land with neon trees and artistic sculptures lining nightscape....lovers lay in the grass, ravers hop around with glowsticks, friends sit indian style and chat and the smart ones make a killing selling water...we traversed the grounds and caught the end of flosstradamous, one man on turntables making the crowd go bezerk while the stage to the left...jack white rocked hard to an older more sedated audience.  man i felt dated.  but we sat and rested....for axwell ingrosso...flipping awesome.



after 2 days in the desert.   i gave it everything i had.  i laughed.  i danced.  i sweat.  i drank a lot of water.  i danced.  my ears rang.  i didnt sleep.  i didnt eat.  and i had a helluva two days.  and with no sleep and no food...i kept the candle burning cuz i'd be out of there sunday morning.  but that didnt happen.they sat on me.  and i stayed an extra day.  and with dre gone....i had to transform into something a bit more responsible.  DAMMNIT!  but...

There’s a theory in quantum physics that time is immutable. It’s like a river – you can throw a pebble in and create a ripple, but the current always corrects itself. No matter what you do the river just keeps flowing in the same direction

sunday was inevitable.  and "why fight it if u know its going to be inevitable???"  we went back for spring rolls and pho, got gas...and went back for day three.  i had sold my bracelet the night before.  but with a combined iq of 30000000 becky and amanda gave me a plastic bag and slipped me thru the gauntlet of security scanners for 6pm kaskade!  and then GUETTA!  ....and drake sucked goat balls.  and so we headed back to the hotel for a final hoorah.  i love hoorahs.  im embody hoorahs.  hoorahs are fun.  and even more fun when u do a the hoorah with a bostonian jew...



the presidential suite at the westin mission had 6 occupants.  our core four and nancy and michael synonymous for sticky pie.  an even motlier crew as it was supposed to be a girls trip initially.  cancellations created A5, amanda, becky, nancy, jpg and "ultimate embodiment of all of our childhoods combined" to happen.  even without A5 on sunday...his spirit was vehemently spread like fireworks across the living room, both beds, and whatsapp.

so that was coachella 2015.

and then i went to arcadia.  and reflected on 8 years. =)




























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