bin-laden is an undeniably smart man...a man who defends his views in an unjustified manner...but nonetheless...he fights for his people from an understandable victimized-palenstine-nation position...somethings just got to be done about the nation of palestine...

but its soo hard...its like building a house...u fuck up the foundation...and its just a bitch to go back and renovate it....

another thing is that...these arab countries do not have any incentive to step up and take charge of a palestinian regime...a lot of these arab countries are headed by bougie families and it is strived to be kept like that forever...all the money heads towards the family while the masses are led to rot in poverty...the countries there are rich due to oil reserves...but because the money is there..what reason do they have to develop the country?...why make other people rich?

someone mentioned to me "how come none of those iraqi council people step up and just take charge of the situation...they need to find that true leader"...why would anyone want to take that position...or step up at this time...to step up now...means taking orders from an imperial country...the resistance in iraq makes you realize that maybe americans have pushed this thing too far...even if the people there did not like sadaam..waht would make them prefer foreign soldiers taking over their home turf...regulating them and telling their political leaders what to do and how to run the country.....

$$$$in the end...its all about money....

soo many things going on in my head...thing is...if you asked me...i couldn't even tell you what it is...all i know is that i wake up with a feeling of urgency and go to sleep in a semi fatigued-panic....

dad's away in asia...so i've been keeping the car in the city...even with monthly parking...having a car in the city is true terror...though the perks of spontaneous roadtrips and expansion of weekend options are awesome!...

heading to my first wedding tonight....not first wedding i've ever been to...but its the first of all my friends...big step...big move...so happy for them...and very anxious to be there for them for this beautiful event...

after deleted kazaa and winmx from my computer a couple of months ago...(after a downloading fine scare...and then more so because of the crap results and extraneous BS kazaa comes with....)  i couldn't take it anymore, this past weekend...hit up winmx again...and went on a dLing frenzy...catching up on not only the latest radio hits...but also albums i've been meaning to hear...(damien rice is depressing as helll)

through friends (namely dora), boredom at work, and moreover the need to constantly plan for things to do in the future...i've become a semi-ticketmaster...knicks first round home 1&2/switchfoot/yankees a's/incubus/sarah m/chappelle/prince/chingy-aguilera...might not be able to head to all of them...so will let y'all know if they become available...

europe may 12-21st...dates are set....destinations are set....flying into paris and leaving from rome...ton of places inbtwn...i've just kind of neglected to read the emails...

...because..."contrary to popular belief"...i've been doing a lot of work for work...my project goes live in 2 weeks...and everyone in the office is in a constant panic attack...overtime is good.

i wake up most mornings with a feeling of dry heaving...sometimes i'll get it when there's huge lapse time (ie..sitting on a long train ride)...i might attribute that to a "racing mind"...just always thinking about everything...but in the end...not thinking about anything...or is it that im in denial about everything that is on my mind?....those times on the train is when i'll bust out that journal and start plugging away at those cliched entries...(shaky train/flickering lights/headphones....long ride home)....anyways...so this jittery sense...is it one huge free for tangent?...a stream of incoherent consciousness?...it just makes me feel unfullfilled....somethings missing...not doing enough..not achieving enough...(oddly...i still feel as though i do push myself at anything i consciously set out to do...maybe its time to recognize those things that i don't consciously do and attack them...but how do you recognize...)

its time to make a decision....i've gotten into 3 schools...quite lucky i must say...but at the same time...its time for me take a stand and make the next step...i'll let ya'll know.

alvin - not a post dedicated to you....but at the same time...as the text erraticaly pours on the page...the go part of "stop and go writing" is only pushed forward by teh voice of you in my head...(just let that stuff out and share your own writing)...a post/blog to the world is quite pretentious...but then again...if its ur friends reading it shouldn't matter...its not my friends reading...its mostly acquaintences reading.....oh wellz..

as a non coffee drinker...i've consumed 4 coffees in 2 days and this coffee breath is killing me...gawd...mints/gum...they just dont help that crap feeling coffee leaves on your tongue...as for starbucks coffee...sweet as hell...probably the only way i could drink the bitter juice....rank: caramel machiatto/toffe nut latte/vanilla latte...

speaking of sweet coffee and extra calories because of it....i am still taking class and hitting crunch about 5x a week....if i take a class...im at 45 min of cardio plus weights....if no class...about 20 min on the treadmill/stairmaster...and im still 200lbs...original plan was to slim down for summer...but now its just to shed off that water weight so i feel slim in a suit...maybe i'll starve myself for the rest of the day....yes im that superficial

is the case for blog-addiction the loss for another form of communication?...typing to a live response...what i type here...should be going to specific readers...but i've lost email buddies...COME BACK...*ehem*

its gonna be an antsy day...lets go biotechs and pharmeceuticals...looking to make some big money....its april....lets make another spring-summer push...if things go like they did last year...u'll be seeing me drunk a few times a week at 11am.....wonderful =)....

because of the wedding...jam pong is staying at esther's place for 2 nights...and as insensitive and unemotional as i've been called...i really just could not let go when i dropped him off....being a product of an overprotective and sheltering mom....that is what i've become...worrywarting of low possibility occurrences on the way home...jeezus....pride and joy goes into this ball of fluff who ironically isn't even my dog....but i love him nonetheless...no shame in outright expression of love for this particular spoiled brat....

with that said....

sponsor me in my dog walk...

do it for cancer...not for me.

http://www.dogswalk.com/site/TR?pg=personal&fr_id=1041&px=1024033&s_tafId=1033&s_oo=Qk2qP4VISSiPLhYs3lnipg..