the last time...

i was in a funk i don't remember, high probability due to me , the moody invidual, regardless and forging ahead, the phrase in a funk was coined the same night the same 5 of us hopped in a minivan cab and asked the driver to take the long route only because bob marley was "jammin" on his radio...i swear if he had some ganj and was willing to park the car, we would have had re-enacted 'white castle' the funnier and more homo erotic version....and so slowly i fell into this weird chemical imbalanced FUNK...that is until i met the "girl that got me out of the funk"....uh huh....men are such suckers.

in anycase, being accused as the king of unyielding flattery and 'lines', compliments and general words of encouragement lately have only brought out that insecure bulimaholic in me causing a neurotic wave of 2nd guessing tangents...i'll be the first to say that the confident free spirit in me which has done nothing but gain momentum straight into its fiery climax of turning down medical school, has all of a sudden slammed into a brick wall of doubt....the first jolt of enthusiasm and risk versus age mentality to "roll the dice" and give a whirl at making it big IS dying probably only because it's daydreamt snowball effect has been nothing close to that....if the bumps and bruises came downhill i'd still have nothign to complain about it, newton and his rule of inertia along with gravity would be on myside...but rather as with most cliche's in life, its not easy and i'll be damned if my ingenuity is gonna fail me this time around making things THAT difficult.....or maybe its not even that, proactivitiy needs its breaks, so gimme a dammning break...

lop calls me that king of metaphors....its firggin hard to metaphor everything, but it seems soo damn necessary when venting but careful of venting to the masses, which makes it not really venting but kind of not really? so you're typing for yourself because you're obscuring everything, but then you use this medium which isn't conclusive at all...there in lies the fate of most people, stuck in that rung of attention needing indecision...correct me if im incorrectly self assessing, but i don't feel physically stuck in an indecisive comfort zone whereas my weakness might lie in the emotional whim of immaturity....writing metaphorically doen'st help one bit, cuz i'm confusing thoughts, rather than allowing the words to distinguish each item, double entendres take the place in making everything more muddled than ever....so stop!...i can't!....unfortunate cycle of events isn't it? but when has an i can't ever stopped me?....ok..we're working on...vent communicate breathe shake it off....i'll try to come up with part 2 of mase's quasi comeback....

"feeling nauseous often means you're in love...." - paul reiser....