the last time i was in japan i bought the original nintendo gameboy before it had been released in the US. and the same family that took was most hospitable to us then somehow became even more hospitable this time around. making it ridiculously hard for me to leave, extending my stay in osaka by one night which meant more food, more sushi, more anago, more ramen, more takoyaki, more waistline and one more night at this place. back then, i was still a good boy, obediently listening to parental guidance sporting a bowl cut, tucking in my shirts and quietly sitting at the dinner table. since then, i've obviously plummeted closer to the depths of disowned child and in essence become tighter with my japanese counterparts. the masuda boys. and fittingly...we spent a bunch of time downstairs their pachinko parlor. aka. the frat house.

Pachinko (パチンコ ?) is a Japanese gaming device used for amusement and prizes. Although pachinko machines were originally strictly mechanical, modern pachinko machines are a cross between a pinball machine and a video slot machine. (wikipedia). The pachinko parlors are rooms lined with these machines where players pay money to control the airflow direction to push the metal balls through the pinball labyrinth into the right hole below. It's FRIGGIN LOUD IN THERE. It's ridiculous to win. and even if i liked the game, the decibel and second hand smoke level is enough to kick me out the door. As evident with me, Pachinko is dying with the younger generations but the masuda's say this cultural phenomenon is safe with the remaining shrunken/loyal addicts.

i spent 10 minutes and 1000 YEN upstairs before retreating to the basement that used to be a video game arcade converted to an office that just became a dirty frat house. 2 space heaters in the middle of the room, one rickity table. 2 leftover couches from 1980 ripped and U shaped seating. a huge bowl of water and cigarette butts. floors the color of high traffic metro bathrooms. ceilings the color of a smoke stained yellow. street fighter ps3 never off. dart boards. 2 imacs. 3 pc's. 8 terrabytes of external hard drive. of which 5 are filled with porn. 2 dogs. and...anything else u think im missing, trust me, it's there.







truly a family ordeal....momma masuda, hiroyaki, and pooch on the 3rd floor....



so we caught up. we talked about work. we talked about family business. we talked about parents. we talked about jail and we talked about japan, having kids, gangsters, taiwan, china, politics, money laundering, girls, and of course brothels (which i'll get to later).








have you ever gone to mcdonalds and gotten a burger that looked like the picture? or the fries? or the mcflurry for that matter? those foods are pre-processed and simply assembled on site for customer consumption. but look at this omu rice. or this katsu curry. the fake food industry is million dollar industry in japan and as meticulous as they make their plastic sample displays, they are just as meticulous each and everytime an order for that dish is placed.




i had to take a bite to show it wasn't fake...



we took a nice morning stroll to see the castle. no need to go in. just trekked up the mountain to eat some takoyaki. =)



takoooooyaakkiii!!!


i am one hot chick.



#3 masuda. shohei masuda.


cross feeding balls...delicate thin crust, just crispy enough to hold in the gooey goodness of batter and tako on the inside. it's not that u can't get these balls reincarnated on different soil, but everything in japan just tastes naturally sweeter, naturally more balanced, and naturally better.


ball so good..



it didn't rain. so we went to the mountains to see the temple. i didn't read any of the information pamphlets. i know nothing about the temple. we just took out some money at every statue, fountain and shrine - threw it in, lit some candles and prayed for better luck. (btwn mune and i, the least favorite offspring of our families, we need some new luck)



monkeys sat in the middle of the road on our way there.



some temple shots




through the hole.


peaceful, quiet and fresh air. esp with cigarettes.



little guys placed everywhere.


we were so excited to pray for guan ying.



then natasha asked us "do u guys know what you're praying for? that's the mother of unborn children"dUh!. we thought it was guan ying.



then as I washed my hands with the holy water, the speakers all of a sudden went on. ignoring the music, louisa went to ring the big bell.



and while admiring the view. mune realized the song that came on was singing "GO HOME GO HOME....."

great. not even the temple welcomes us. degenerates for life.